You think you know me? Let me start by saying that this blog not might but will contain language that may not be suitable for children. Adults read as you wish because guess what, the internet is a wide-open space, and your kids may find this blog anyway. Ain’t freedom of speech a great thing? I am a former Marine and if you know anything about Marines it’s that our language may not always be the kind you’d want to bring home to your mother.
This is for all my peeps. This blog has a recent origin. On a recent Saturday, I chose to do a kitchen faucet and garbage disposal removal and installation. Let’s just say that fun was not the f word used most by me that day. Lyn would read the instructions, find an instructional video on YouTube, and I would attempt the work. Nope, it didn’t go as fucking planned. The fucking stupid wrench couldn’t turn the right damn way upside down under the sink. Let’s just say that I got mad at myself a few times and basically was a fucking idiot. Trust me, I am harder on myself than any of you could ever be on me.
Can I get a hell yeah? I am currently enjoying the Netflix series ‘History of Swear Words’. This series is hosted by Nicholas Cage and features comedians and linguistic specialists looking into the history of swear words. To me, swear words appeared the most in lyrics of songs in the 1980’s. Streetside Records in Creve Coeur, Missouri would never allow 16-year-old me an album with the ‘explicit lyric’ sticker, but my wife says Tower Records in California would let her. Well, that doesn’t seem fucking fair. Just so you know, swear words seem to matter most in context. For example, saying fuck you is not as positive as saying fuckin eh skippy. Also, gentlemen, never call your wife a bitch even if you mean beautiful intoxicating tantalizing corner of heaven. Ladies feel free to call other ladies your bitches though because apparently that is endearing.
It’s true, it’s damn true. Sometimes curse words can be a release, even something fun. I can hear certain songs and they just relax me in an intense situation. That’s how it is with ‘The Rodeo Song’ by Gary Lee and Showdown. Take a listen. How can you not smile when you hear ‘Well here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand, he’s a one ball man and he’s off to the rodeo’? That is such a fun line and I find myself as a lyricist appreciating the simplicity of it, along with another one of my favorite lines in the song. ‘You piss me off, you fuckin jerk, you get on my nerves’. This line has relaxed me in so many instances. It has brought a chuckle to my mouth and a happy thought in my head in many stressful situations. And remember, all of us at one time or another have been fucking jerks. Just don’t take everything too serious, and you are good.
Excuse me! Have you paid attention to the lines throughout this blog that although work where they are, may seem out of place? Say hello to this bad guy. So, if you really think you know me, then you know I am a huge wrestling fan. Woooo! Edge is the Rated R Superstar so him coming back to main event Wrestlemania really started this blog concept. If you have felt offended by this blog, well you can shine your thoughts up real nice, turn that son of a bitch sideways, and stick it up your candy ass. Or you can just enjoy life a bit more and think positive.
Have a nice day!